Does Your Man Like Cologne or Moisturizer?

I went to workout this morning even though it’s freezing out there. Windy and electrifyingly cold. I couldn’t feel my cojones by the time I got to the gym. Once there, Becky (the receptionist) a nice thirty something woman asked me if I were her boyfriend what would I like to receive for Valentine’s Day? “Well, let’s start with the fact I’m gay and I wouldn’t be receiving any gifts from you,” I said. She looked at me as if I had told her that the pope was in the aerobics class wearing a tank top, Lycra shorts and leg warmers. “Well, what does your boyfriend like?” I asked her. “He likes the outdoors and he likes to watch football; he’s an account and he’s not interested in fashion at all,” she responded. “Is he dead?” I asked. “Ha, ha, ha, ha,” she laughed. “How long have the two of you been together?” I inquired more. “We’ve been dating for five years, but living together for 3.” This conversation was turning more into a therapy session than giving this poor unfortunate soul some suggestions for a Valentine’s gift. “Does he read?” “Or does he like to cook, watch movies? Does he wear cologne?  Does he moisturize or use hair products?” I continued to ask her. “He wears cologne but he doesn’t wear anything fine; he gets his cologne at Walmart and his hair doesn’t need anything because he’s not the type that would use any “guy” products,” she explained while I listened in horror. “He reads but he doesn’t read all the time, only when he’s sick,” she told me. I was mortified and feeling terrible for her.

A very stylish, masculine and chic Valentine's Day gift for your man

I thought it would be nice for her to introduce her boyfriend to some fine things in life like great books, movies, cologne and excellent facial products that don’t scream feminine or girly. I encouraged her to touch my skin and see how soft (I’ve been accused of having baby butt skin) and well maintained it is. “How do you get your skin to be so soft?” she asked me. She thought I was some strange extraterrestrial being with great skin. “I moisturize every day and I use products that are good for me and my type of skin,” I carefully responded to her question. “I have been using the same brand for over 20 years I told her and I’ve only stopped using the brand for six months because I was locked up and couldn’t get the products in the big house.” Again, she looked at me as if I was speaking Mandarin and she didn’t understand what I was saying. Funny how some people get this look of shock when I tell them I was in jail. Hey, many famous folks have been in jail, besides, my stint in the big slammer was short and not a big deal. No drugs or weapons nor violence, but I’ll tell you more sometime later.



Kiehl's ingredients are natural and feel great

I told Becky that she should get her live-in boyfriend products from Kiehl’s because they’re great for your skin, they have been around for a long time and made with natural ingredients. I’ve been using Kiehl’s for 20 plus years and I’ve never looked back. I really enjoy their moisturizer with SPF 15 and I really enjoy their body lotion—I used to wear their Crème de Corps, but now I’m using their Superbly Restorative Argan Body Lotion. I really like this stuff. I also use Kiehl’s Pineapple Papaya Scrub and the wonderful Abyssine Serum+. To cleanse my skin I use the Açaí Damage-Minimizing Cleanser and for my lips Lip Balm #1. Many people have asked me if I use shampoo since I am bald and apparently there’s no need to wash my head. They are very surprised when I tell them that I do use shampoo and I wash my head every day. “Really?” “But you don’t have any hair,” Becky asked me. “Well, Becky, I like to keep my head clean and smelling delicious.” I suggested she get for her man the Tea Tree Oil Shampoo because it’s the ultimate in hair care and scalp protection. Becky was looking at me now like I was crazy or had developed a horn in the middle of my forehead. I know I’m not your stereotypical male, but I believe in taking care of your body, skin and head. Those are normal things to do, right?

A classic, Tom Ford

“As far as smelling great goes, I told Becky, you should look into getting your boyfriend a great cologne like Tom Ford by Tom Ford. It has hints of orange blossom, black pepper, cedar, amber and leather I think, so it’s the perfect gift for your boyfriend,” I proceed to educate her. “I really enjoy this cologne and I get a lot of compliments when I wear it.” She was now ready to kill me with one of the dumbbells she was holding in her hands. “But if he’s not into a sophisticated scent, what about something more casual but refined like Marc Jacobs cologne?” “It’s modern and he can wear it all day like I do.” “I’ve been wearing this woody cologne since it first came out and it never disappoints,” Becky just nodded and I think was overwhelmed with all of the information I was giving her. I’m a loyal person; therefore, my choices/suggestions are always the same because I trust their potential and their longevity as classics.

The scent for a masculine and smart man, Marc Jacobs

I also mentioned to Becky that Hermѐs makes a masculine and overall a great everyday cologne—Terre D’Hermѐs has tiny hints of pepper, cedar, patchouli and grapefruit. I received this masculine cologne as a gift from my beautiful partner. He got me the collector’s version of the cologne and I’m glad he thought of me liking this cologne. We make a perfect pair. Hermѐs and me. And Dan and I too. I had to continue with my workout, and Becky needed to get home to medicate herself since I had given her plenty of suggestions and she was now more confused than before our talk. She asked me if I was going to be in the gym tomorrow so we could talk more about this dilemma and if I would be okay meeting her boyfriend. “Sure, I could meet your boyfriend and talk more,” I told Becky. “Do you think we could meet somewhere and not here at the gym?” Now this casual conversation was turning into a personal grooming session.

You'll never go wrong with this choice

I just hope Becky goes home and starts working on getting some of these things for her man—or going to Nordstrom and getting a consultation from the Kiehl’s representative. I hope she talks to me tomorrow so I can give her suggestions on what kind of books or shoes she should get her boyfriend. I won’t suggest clothes; he’ll hate me. Or maybe not.