There are people in this world who look fabulous without really trying and then, there are those who try but still look terrible. And there are others who don’t really care what they look like despite the resources available to them. Personally, it is displeasing to see public personalities, celebritarts and the Hollywood type-of-people who are paid substantially great to look fantastic, but fail at looking so. A lot of them look homely, apathetic, disheveled and devastatingly depressed. Such is the case with my favorite comedian, talk show diva and from time to time a working “actress,” Chelsea Handler.
Chelsea is a bestselling author, a perpetual figure in American straight and gay pop culture (she’s a fag hag extraordinaire) and a tabloid(s) queen. This post is not about her sexual escapades, her over the top attitude or any other issues—she openly admits or denies them in her late-night talk show. I will focus in her lifeless fashion sense and her very pedestrian style. Chelsea is a hot mess and she knows it. Ms. Handler might be the funniest and tallest white girl out there, but her sense of style is horrible, utterly disastrous and borderline trail park housewife. Almost every night of the week I wish I could get my hands on Ms. Handler and offer my styling services; make her look clean, fresh and fabulous. There are times when I wonder if Chelsea even brushed her hair or washed her face before going out on stage, really? I wonder if she owns a good size mirror, one that reflects the hot mess that she is. Doesn’t E! have an in-house stylist who can resolve some of the fashion felonies Chelsea commits on a nightly basis? For Christ sake, Joan Rivers works for the same network. Get Joan to help Chelsea with her wardrobe and maybe give her a lecture on how to look great while someone else is paying for the clothes. If Joan is not around to aid, get the annoying skinny and bitchy Italian tangerine Giuliana Rancid, I mean Rancic to help Chelsea.
Here’s proof of what I’m talking about. Check out the outfit, the hair, and the shoes. Chelsea does sloppy New Jersey style very well.
Chelsea’s wardrobe issues are not her only issues. Her hair often looks over-fried, over-saturated with chemicals and dull. Never freshly done or styled at all. Again, doesn’t anyone at E! tell this funny lady that the joke is one her—she looks like she belongs in an orphanage mopping floors and not in front of the camera telling jokes. Her face needs work; not cosmetic surgery (but I’m sure she’s had a few minimal procedures) but makeup. 95% of the time Chelsea looks washed out, pasty green, almost cadaveric. A little red or a peachy pink lipstick would look great on her and a rosy blush would do wonders to her strong cheek bones. Chelsea looks healthy and fresh when she has some color on her—not in her. So a bronzer, a self tanner with a little sheen would accentuate her athletic figure. Chelsea has a great body and she knows how to use it; unfortunately she doesn't know how to dress it.
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| Two of many on camera looks of Chelsea Handler: the cha cha outfit to the left is truly a hot mess--cheap looking. The Gidget ensemble to the right is very bad. Look at the big picture, Ms. Handler needs help with her hair, shoes and accessories. Photos: E! Networks |
Chelsea is a bestselling author, a perpetual figure in American straight and gay pop culture (she’s a fag hag extraordinaire) and a tabloid(s) queen. This post is not about her sexual escapades, her over the top attitude or any other issues—she openly admits or denies them in her late-night talk show. I will focus in her lifeless fashion sense and her very pedestrian style. Chelsea is a hot mess and she knows it. Ms. Handler might be the funniest and tallest white girl out there, but her sense of style is horrible, utterly disastrous and borderline trail park housewife. Almost every night of the week I wish I could get my hands on Ms. Handler and offer my styling services; make her look clean, fresh and fabulous. There are times when I wonder if Chelsea even brushed her hair or washed her face before going out on stage, really? I wonder if she owns a good size mirror, one that reflects the hot mess that she is. Doesn’t E! have an in-house stylist who can resolve some of the fashion felonies Chelsea commits on a nightly basis? For Christ sake, Joan Rivers works for the same network. Get Joan to help Chelsea with her wardrobe and maybe give her a lecture on how to look great while someone else is paying for the clothes. If Joan is not around to aid, get the annoying skinny and bitchy Italian tangerine Giuliana Rancid, I mean Rancic to help Chelsea.
Here’s proof of what I’m talking about. Check out the outfit, the hair, and the shoes. Chelsea does sloppy New Jersey style very well.
Video: Chelsea Lately ©
There are times when Chelsea looks decent, not an everyday occurrence. Consistency is not her best trait. Her clothing choices range from a stripped balloon top with super tight jeans or a short tight skirt paired with a silky spaghetti straps top and black biker boots. Who dares to do that? Chelsea’s look is mostly 80’s inspired or as I call it, “sloppy New Jersey style.” Her comedic talent is cutting-edge, she’s hilarious, but her fashion and style sense is passé and outmoded. Chelsea’s height is an advantage—clothes would look great on her if she knew which shapes, silhouette(s), structures and colors look good on her. Chelsea is not fashion lately, she’s clueless. There are probably a few designers who would like to dress her and whose clothes would look great on her. Some of my designer suggestions for Ms. Handler include Calvin Klein, the best American casual and refined designer. Chelsea would kill it in Narciso Rodriguez and she would look modern and chic in Proenza Schouler. If she wants to look young and edgy Alexander Wang would work for her and last but certainly not my last suggestion, Joseph Altuzarra’s magical hands would cure her sloppy New Jersey style.
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| These two modern and minimalist looks from Proenza Schouler Spring '11 would work perfectly for Chelsea. Her toned and statuesque figure would look perfectly chic. Photos: Style.com |
Chelsea’s wardrobe issues are not her only issues. Her hair often looks over-fried, over-saturated with chemicals and dull. Never freshly done or styled at all. Again, doesn’t anyone at E! tell this funny lady that the joke is one her—she looks like she belongs in an orphanage mopping floors and not in front of the camera telling jokes. Her face needs work; not cosmetic surgery (but I’m sure she’s had a few minimal procedures) but makeup. 95% of the time Chelsea looks washed out, pasty green, almost cadaveric. A little red or a peachy pink lipstick would look great on her and a rosy blush would do wonders to her strong cheek bones. Chelsea looks healthy and fresh when she has some color on her—not in her. So a bronzer, a self tanner with a little sheen would accentuate her athletic figure. Chelsea has a great body and she knows how to use it; unfortunately she doesn't know how to dress it.
Video: Chelsea Lately ©
Her unique comedic style is larger than herself. I believe that it’s about time Chelsea starts considering an image that conjures up confidence, a sense of casual seriousness yet never losing track of the woman that she really is. Funny, smart, self-deprecating and with a big Jewish attitude. If someone happens to read this post and knows Chelsea or can reach her, tell her “it would be a dream to style her.”
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